In His Hands
It’s Mother’s Day. I’ve been awake for hours and there are 2 little ones sprawled across my bed, which is usually off limits. But, somewhere between the guilt of it being Mother’s Day weekend, and my husband traveling, I felt guilty and caved.
As I tossed in bed, I kept thinking how grateful I should be to have them beside me, longing for more closeness. But that was not the position of my heart. Then a second wave of guilt fell on my shoulders as I thought of others who long for an opportunity like this. But guilt is not from the Lord. It’s a big and looming feeling, yes. But it’s general and vague and there is no rest from it. Conviction, on the other hand is specific and there’s a choice that is placed in front of us to make. And as you move that conviction to an act of obedience, there’s peace.
And that’s where I gratefully sit and write from now. Peace. I denied the empty accusations that guilt was claiming, and I heard God’s heart for my restlessness. My conviction was about being content even in his exhausting stage of life, knowing that the power and provision that God provides is beyond sufficient for every circumstance. I needed to rest in the promises of God’s purpose and faithfulness, not my present feeling.
So, I snuggled my babies for a moment and pulled the blankets back over them, then I tip toed out to my computer. Sharing this with you is part of my obedience in stepping forward from my conviction. Not just to know this truth, but to share it. After recognizing the work that God had just done in my heart, my mind was drawn back to a presentation that was made by a potter several years ago, who had so effectively described a process that we all feel so deeply. Each step of the pottery process is a reflection of spiritual truth, and I’ll highlight a few quickly.
The first step a potter takes is to cut a piece of clay from the block and begin ‘wedging’ it. This process looks a lot like kneading but it’s extra challenging because of the dense nature of the clay. With a firm hand and repetitive action, the clay is softened and pockets of air are removed that would otherwise cause it to explode when being fired. Ever feel like you’re being ‘wedged’ over and over (and over again)? Yea, me too. God is making us more mailable for what’s to come next.
When the clay is thrown onto the wheel, it has to be ‘centered.’ While the wheel spins rapidly and the clay fights to topple over, the potter’s hand holds very steady. The immovable pressure of the potter’s hands forces the clay to yield its placement. Once centered, the clay appears motionless, but if the clay is not centered it has a very obvious ‘wobble.’ There are some pretty obvious times in my life when I had a bit (okay, a lot) of wobble going on. I’m so grateful that God is unchanging, unyielding and always faithful! He can be trusted!
For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.
Malachi 3:6
Once the clay is centered, the form of the vessel begins. This is one of the parts of the process that I found so incredibly enlightening… to open up the vessel, the potter presses into the center and pulls it up. But get this, as he continues to shape the piece, it requires pressure from both the inside and outside at the same time to prevent the vessel from collapsing. There are so many parts of the process where the risk of collapse is ever present!
At the same time that God presses on our insides, our hearts, with truths that He wants us to recognize, he is applying pressure from the world to create urgency and deepen the impact. Just like the potter to the clay, God’s hands wrap around our lives to shape it in a gentle but firm way. With each step of the pottery process so far, there is a ‘push-pull’ effect. Life too can have a very strong ‘push-pull’ tension. It leaves us weary in moments, but over time leads us to see glimpses of God’s grace and beauty as he aligns our hearts with His and forms us into new creations.
But now, Lord, You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter,
And all of us are the work of Your hand.Isaiah 64:8
There is a full spectrum of experiences that shape motherhood. There’s waiting and rejoicing. Waiting and grieving. Trying and hoping. Missing and remembering. But through it all, we are each being molded – one hand graciously pressing on our hearts, the other pressing and guiding us through this broken world.
So whatever emotion this day finds you in, have hope. You are free in Christ. You are a work in process, being transformed into His image with ever increasing glory.
But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate[a] the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18
(The pottery illustration continues to reflect even more incredible spiritual truths, but we will get to those another day!)
A little aside:
There’s a children’s book called ‘Hermie: The Common Caterpillar’ by Max Lucado. Our copy was originally purchased at Half Priced Books, already worn with love. And after 2 teething babies and a few spilled drinks, it’s now only recognizable by its raw white cover and unique carved shape. Every time we read that book, it’s just as soothing for my own heart as I hope the message will be for my children. Incase it’s a message that you need to hear today, through each trial you face God is reminding you: “I’m not done with you yet, I’m giving you a heart like mine.”